December Update

Sorry I've been MIA. I needed to take a break from here and just try and go with the flow. I think I was letting everything take over my life and I was getting quite depressed about it.

I have been taking Letrozole for 2 cycles now and I'm onto my third. Both cycles have gotten me to O! Which is great except the fact that I am used to medically induced periods, which are easy for me, very light flow, hardly any cramps, no headaches but my real periods OMG! Killer cramps, headaches, Very heavy flows, and a real PMS factor. DH was actually scared of me, lol.

I went to see my RE today and he wanted us to move onto IUI with injectables which is totally out of our price range right now. So we will be doing Letrozole for another 3 months. If by then it hasn't worked (and we have saved up enough money) we will be moving onto the IUI. He also did an ultrasound because I was complaining of lots of pressure while taking Letrozole. No cysts! and my lining was 7.5mm which is good from what I hear and I have a follicle (I hope that's the right word) that measured 18mm! He said I would be O'ing within the next couple days! So here's hoping that all the BD in the next coming days works out.

CD1 again

CD1

Words cannot express my emotions right now.

Onto round 3 with Fermara.

How many Squares you get out of a Fat Quarter

Generally, a fat quarter is a rectangle of fabric that measures 18 inches by 22 inches.

Fat quarters offer more options than a regular quarter yard.

One Fat Quarter Equals:

99 - 2 inch squares

56 - 2 1/2 inch squares

42 - 3 inch squares

30 - 3 1/2 inch squares

20 - 4 inch squares

16 - 4 1/2 inch squares

12 - 5 inch squares

12 - 5 1/2 inch squares

9 - 6 inch squares

6 - 6 1/2 inch squares

4 - 8 inch squares

4 - 9 inch squares

October update

So much has happened since I last wrote.

Cycle one with Fermara was a bust. I O’d but we missed the get BD timing.

This next month should be a lot better. Now that I know it will happen :D

I got the second HSG done and boy oh boy was it crazy. Keep in mind I had one done in March this year so this was the second one I have had done in the past 6months. I went to UBC to get it done because the Specialist wanted me to have a focused exploration on the right tube, as that was the one that went into spasms during the last HSG.

Unknown to me the hospital just booked a regular HSG and not a specialized one. So when I got there it was a huge mess. I went from thinking it was going to be an easy test to having to be sedated and taking antibiotics. I got the whole deal. The IV, the O2, the suppository (not fun) plus the added fun of a stay in the hospital for an extra 2 hours just in case I had a reaction to the sedation. In the end all things were clear so both tubes are wide open! I left the hospital with a DO NOT do list for the next couple days. No making decisions (HA HA Mr.), No Heavy lifting, No Driving for 24-48 hours after the “surgery”. I still find myself a little tired but that’s because I have a bad response to drugs that make you sleepy. I take an antihistamine and I’m napping for hours.

The other big news is I am moving! I get to live with Mr again. Whoot Whoot! I have to say I am excited but also worried. I mean we have been living apart for almost a year and half with the Mr. doing his thing, and me doing mine. We have too different versions on what ‘Clean” is, ha ha just like most married couples. I’m also scared that I wont make it over on the main land with my job. I mean I love my job but what if I have been doing things wrong on the island and they have just not said anything? I guess the next couple months will be a learning experience for me.

I’ll keep writing.

Femara Worked

Here's a quick update of what's going on.

On Sept 29 2011 I was at CD21 and got my Progesterone tested. It came back as 9 nmol/L which is much better than the <2 nmol/L I have been getting over the last year. I called the clinic asking if the Dr. had gotten my results back and he said that 9 was really low and wanted to test again in a week.

Test number two happened on Oct 5 2011 with the end results being 70 nmol/L . The Dr from the clinic said that I had a good healthy strong "O". So the Femara works!

Now for the first time in my life I am doing the 2 week wait to test to see if we are pregnant.

I'm scared. I keep hoping that this will be it, after over 2 years of trying, we will finally be on our way to having a child.

I'll let you know what happens in the next couple weeks.

Infertility Update

I had my appointment at Gene.sis in Vancouver in August and the Dr was very helpful. He totally got my frustration with the situation! I wasn't made to feel like I was trying to rush the whole getting pregnant thing. I mean we've been TTC'ing for 2 years now.
By the end of our appointment we had hammered out a solid plan that I am very happy with!

He agreed with me on the Clomid not working (after 6 months and increasing dosages) and suggested that I try Fermar for a month to see if it would get me O'ing. Because really that so far is our major problem. I DO NOT "O". If after the one month on Fermar I still don't "O" he suggested going straight to injectables with a possibility of an IUI as well.
(since we are spending all the money might as well right?)
He also wants me to get another HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) Yeah me, NOT
So I will be getting another one done within the next month.

Right now I am just coming off my Prometrium to induce AF. Here's hoping her stay is short.

In other news it seems that everyone around me is with child. My MOH from my wedding just told me she's 6 weeks. She thought that I was going to go all crazy and freak out when she told me. I really don't get that? I have a problem getting pregnant, it's MY problem not theirs. Whenever I hear that so and so is pregnant I am truly very happy for them. They get to experience something that I really want to experience. Do I feel a little sad, and I'm not going to lie here, Yes but it's feeling sad for me and Mr. My issues will never get in the way of my happiness when I hear someone else is with child. I wish people would understand that. I have known since I was 16 that it was going to be very hard for me to get pregnant and I've dealt with it as best as I can over the years. So if you are reading this and you know me IRL and you just found out that you are with child please don't be afraid to tell me. I want to share in your joy and send you tons of love too!

For me the saga of Infertility continues...

What I've been up too

Some of you might be wondering where I have been for like, well ever so I thought I would pop on and let you in on what's been happening with me. First off I was keeping busy making my first Quilt. That's right! I said I made a quilt, and I'm pretty proud of it too :D

There were no Straight cuts here and the sewing was kinda off and wavy but the person that it was for loved it anyways.
I also couldn't write about it just in case she checked out my blog cause that would have ruined the surprise!

So what I did was go to my local Quilting Shop to see if they had any panel fabric (I have no idea what the real name is for it) and lucky for me they did. I wanted to do an ABC quilt so I grabbed the panel that I thought would work the best with her nursery.
Once I got home with my panel, boarder fabric, batting and backing fabric I got to cutting.
I went to Michael's (but you can go anywhere) and picked up the basic quilting kit using my 40% coupon of course!
I cut all the individual squares out of the panel and cut my boarder fabric to 2" strips.
* Please make sure you cut off the ragged end & name end of the fabric so you cut a straight line* <-- I learned the hard way.
I got to sewing next, making sure I did as close to 1/4inch line each time
(though since it was my first time quilting none of the lines are straight)

Once I finished sewing all the squares together with the boarder I did my main strips
(the long ones accross the top and between the squares)
and my front was done!



Next I cut my batting by measuring out the front panel and added 6 inches to each side,
same with the back panel.
Once it was all laid out together on a flat surface I safety pined the whole quilt. I later learned there is an easier way to do this,
its call basting spray ( < -- that's a hint)

Once everything was all pinned together I started sewing again. Starting in the middle I "Stitched in the Ditch" going down each line and around each square.
After the quilting part was done I made the binding and sewed it on. I will not try to explain how I did it. I will just say I sat and watched youtube constantly (it's a great source)

After everything was sewn, and stitched together I hand washed the quilt and let it air dry (I later learned you should wash your fabric first to prevent running or shrinkage of fabric)


The Finished Product!!!

The lovely Green circle fabric is part of the Life's a Hoot line which fits well with my friends nursery theme. The backing was a bright Orange with red swirls and for the binding I used a chocolate brown (cause it brought out some of the brown circles in the Life's a Hoot Fabric)
I totally have the Quilting Bug now! I really want to learn how to do all the amazing things I see in my local Quilting shop!

Watch for more Quilting as I continue my journey from the basics to the more advanced

Birds & Bees Video :D

So I haven't posted in a while but I wanted to share this video for all my Infertility friends.

Infertility Song

Holy Crap! There is a song about infertility! Will wonders never cease?

My 30 day Commitment to ME!

As I was tell you all in a previous post I was going to start a new. I need to work on me. This fertility stuff is just trying to consume me, so to the back burner you go till I get a call from the fertility clinic.

Here is My 30 day Commitment to ME!

~ I Will Drink 8 Cups of Water a Day
~ I will work out on the Treadmill for at least 30 mins a Day
~I will NOT eat any fast food
~I will limit myself to 2 caffeinated drinks a day (coffee/tea)
~ I will meditate for 10 mins 3 times a week
~ I will be in bed by or before Midnight every night

That's it, for now at least. I don't want to set myself up for failure.

So today's the start date: July 24 2011
My activities for today were: Treadmill 35mins.
Walking at 5.5km/h for 5 mins and running at 8km/h for one min.

Results

Had my U/S done on Monday which was great seeing as I had an apt with the OBGYN on Wed where I got my results. Things are not looking up. Well I shouldn't totally say that I have no pallups, my tubes are clear and my lining is good. The only thing that doesn't seem to be working is my ovaries. Buggers like to make cysts but not release the little eggys in them, grrr.
So my OB was like "Yha the treatment that I've had you on doesn't seem to be working"
(No Kidding)
And now we are on our next step in this journey. Referral to a fertility clinic. I am just waiting to hear from them telling me when I can get an apt. Fertility clinics scare me because of the cost associated with them and their treatment but hopefully most of it will be covered
(I can dream right?)

Because of the waiting game I will now be playing I think I am going to concentrate on something else. Something that will help me in the end, plus make me feel better. My Fitness. I went and rented a treadmill so NO MORE EXCUSES! Time to get this butt moving :D
As soon as it gets here I am going to make a 30 day commitment to me, which I will of course share with you! so watch out for it!

My Goal for Today!

My goal for today was to go to two places that I had never been before. I surpasses this by going to 3 places I had never been! I'm so very proud. One of these places I even walked around.

So on to the places I visited!
The first stop was Little Mountain in Parksville. One of my good friends keeps talking about how she hikes up it and I wanted to check it out. WOW it's steep! I didn't walk up it, I drove, lol. The view from the top was fantastic! I so have to bring Mr. there the next time he is over on the island.

The fall is quite far! Too bad so many people dump crap over the edge

My next stop was Englishman River Falls. Lots of people can't believe that I have never been here seeing as I have lived only 25 mins away most of my life. It was beautiful! A great walk I went from top falls to bottom falls. It really was fantastic. I totally recommend going to visit these two places!

The top four are from the upper falls, the first one on the bottom is looking down the river just after upper fall. The last 3 on the bottom are from the lower falls and looking just past the lower fall.

The third place I went was the new Bosley's in Parksville. WOW it's fantastic! Way bigger than our store. I love it, if you are around there go in and check it out!!!

For Infertility news...
AF arrived, whoot whoot. I think I am the only one that gets excited when AF actually comes to visit, lol. For me it means I can start another month of treatment. Clomid 100mg day 5-9 here we come! Hopefully this time I will O!
I'll keep you posted

July, What Freaking happened to 1/2 the Year??

Holy Crap! Where did half the year ago?
I can't believe it's July already.
I've been on the island for almost a year, a whole year... holy moly
Don't get me wrong I love it here but I miss my hubby.
Blah, blah, blah same old feeling on repeat.
It's not going to change though, cause this is were my job is. I mean I could ask for a transfer but then I will be back on the bottom again, no full time hours, I might not even like the people I work with. I would hate having to go to work and dislike the other employees.
So yha, that's still the same.

Half a year.. weight wise I have hovered around the same mark around 210lbs
I tell you I haven't really been kicking my butt.
Or watching what I've been eating but that is changing. I am slowly changing what I am eating and when not to mention how.
So this is my plan. Watch what I eat. Walk at least 4 times a week for 30mins or more.
and maybe even try hot yoga.
I'm going to eat low carb, not no carb just low carb. I heard it's really good for those that have PCOS with insulin resistance. Less sugar is good too. It's going to be very heard seeing as I am a sugar addict.
Hi, my name is Andrea and I am a sugar addict.

Infertility wise I am on CD 33. I've taken my Prometrium so now I am just waiting for AF.
Then I can go on cycle 6 of Clomid. Booo. I am so happy I have an apt with the OB later this month. We need to have a talk about treatment. Cause this Clomid is NOT working. I haven't even O'd yet. When will it happen??? I think it's time for a referral to a fertility clinic, Or maybe some more testing to see if I am even responding to this treatment. Yha that would be nice.

I feel kinda guilty. When I hear so and so is pregnant I am so happy for them but I am also so sad for us. Not just me but the Mr. too. I feel like I am fighting off depression. There aren't every many people I can talk to about this because they just don't understand. I find myself ready to cry at the drop of a hat... or be angry for no reason. Sometime I find I have a hard time talking about it. I mean what do you say when people keep asking you "when you are going to have kids? "
Sorry my ovaries are broken?
I mean come on.

So I guess I will leave it as is until something new happens.

Fertility or Infertility?

I never know how I should start this off. Do I use Infertility or do I just go with Fertility? Anyways I'm starting this post off with the Baby making stuff, lol
So today is CD18. Mr. and I got to BD from CD 13 - 16 but then I had to go back to work (which means I leave Mr.) I didn't really feel any different this time with the Clomid.
I feel kinda bad though. The Dr. gave me a scrip for 100mg of Clomid for CD5-9 and I kinda self medicated (Uh OH) So for days CD5 & 6 I did 100mg but on days 7,8 &9 I did 150mg. I have no idea if this hurt my chances at actually O'ing. I go for CD21 Bloodwork on Tuesday and I should have my results back by Wed. If I don't have the number that shows that I have O'd then I am going to make an apt with the OBGYN again. I think this time I want to go in with a list in hand.
The trouble I am having is what Questions/ Demands to I make?
I know I would like an ultrasound to check my lining (as I will be going onto month 6 of clomid) I would also like to have one to check and see if I am responding to the Clomid, cause lets be honest if I am not responding to this drug I don't want to pay for it anymore!
I know I should get more bloodwork done but I have no clue what to ask for.
So Blog readers, what do I ask for???

I think I am going to hit up the WB ladies on this too. I'm not as active on the forums as I used to be, alright so I stalk and peep allot of threads but I don't post very often. Mostly it's because whatever I want to say has already been said or sounds wrong when I type it out. Ha ha kinda like my blogs.

Quinoa-veggie burger

I love trying new things so tonight for dinner we are going to try Quinoa -Veggie Burgers. This recipe is from Chatelaine.

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup uncooked quinoa (about 2 cups cooked)
• 1 tsp vegetable oil
• 1/2 227 g pkg cremini mushrooms, coarsely grated (1 cup)
• 1 cup coarsely grated zucchini
• 3/4 cup coarsely grated carrot
• 1 small shallot, minced
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• 1 egg, beaten
• 3 tbsp cornstarch
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper

1. Cook quinoa according to package directions, omitting salt, about 14 min. Transfer to a large bowl.
2. Heat a large, wide non-stick frying pan over medium. Add oil, then mushrooms, zucchini, carrot, shallot and garlic. Cook until soft, about 5 min. Add to quinoa. Stir in egg, cornstarch, salt and cayenne.
3. Heat the same non-stick frying pan over medium. Firmly press quinoa mixture into a 1/2-cup measuring cup. Turn and release into pan. Gently press to shape into a patty about 4 in. wide. Repeat, cooking 2 patties at a time. Cook until golden and warmed through, about 4 min per side. Top with tahini sauce and roasted plum tomatoes

Nutrients per Serving

• 159 calories
• 5 g protein
• 27 g carbohydrates
• 4 g fat
• 3 g fibre
• 180 mg sodium

I'll Update later letting you all know how it tasted :D
On another note weighed in on Sunday and was 208.0lb so that is a loss of 4lbs! in one week

Stress with Work and Fertility

Oh Wow what a couple days it has been.

Lets start off with work...
So this week there was a managers meeting in Vancouver so that meant my boss had to get off for two days leaving me to run the store, which I am ok with seeing as I am senior sales.
I walk in on Weds and one of the delivery's is sitting outside, he came early grrrr. Our store is not in the best part of town so I was a little upset. But whatever I can start working 1/2 hour early right. Then an 5 mins after 9 the phone rings and I am told my closing girl is sick. There is NO one else to call in. Bah working the whole day by my self. No so bad right. Toss in a couple young punks that are trying to lift product and not leaving the store when you ask them too things start to get tense. One of my male customers snaps and starts pushing then punks outta the store. I was already on the phone calling security thinking they might fight just outside the door. Bah not a great day but not totally bad right.
Thursday arrived and yet again I get a call from one of the girls saying she is still sick and has to stay at home today and Friday. Ok I understand it's ruff getting sick but Thursdays are Truck day. Our biggest delivery comes in today. So I get on with my day, putting away as much of the truck as I can by myself. 3pm comes around and I am wondering where my closing guy is. So I call him, no answer. I leave a message asking if he was going to be coming into work. He saunters in 10 mins late and asks me where everyone is. I tell him its just me today and ask him why he was late, he mumbles something and goes and puts his work shirt on.
By this point I am so tired, pet food bags are really heavy when you are moving close to 50 of them by yourself. Anyways I'm helping a customer and my closing guy gets a call on his cell and answers it! Now let me just tell you that there are no cell phone on the floor rule, which he has always ignored. I just look at him and he hangs up. After finishing with my customer I head to the back to get some lunch. I have to pop back out for a sec and there is my closing guy talking on the phone again! I told him to put the phone in the back room now please. He said "I'll do it later" and I was like "NO, you will do it NOW!" I was so done by that point. Like WTF.
After that I went back into the office and I see this plastic bag with shirts in it. I was like SHIT. I walk out to the front, wait for the closing guy to finish with his customer and ask him if he was quitting. He said "yes", I asked when and he said "Today. I was going to walk in and quit but then you told me that you were working alone and I felt guilty" I was like you know what you can go. I just need your key and for you to sign some papers oh and if you were going to leave a letter I will need that too. I couldn't believe it. I am from the old school where you give 2 weeks notice and that's how it's done. Never have I not given that time frame when leaving a job. To top things off this weekend is our Grand Opening! I was so tired having to deal with all that drama I could sting together sentences when I got home.

So that's whats been going on with work. Tomorrow is the Grand Opening and I am really looking forward to it.

On to Fertility....
So I got AF on June 1 and it was very heavy. This time she stayed almost a week!! It's been a long time since I've had one last that long. I started Clomid 100mg on CD5 and did 100mg on CD5 & 6 then went to 150mg for day 7,8 & 9. I really hope it works this month. I have been feeling really HOT these last 2 days but I think it might have something to do with the weather and stress too. Keeping my fingers crossed.
If this doesn't make me O this month then I am going to my OB and getting him to put in that reference. My mom thinks I should do that now, she thinks I've waited to long and that the OB isn't doing all he can to help me. I hear about girls getting ultrasounds on CD3 and then again Closer to CD14 to see how things are going and I have never had these. Actually the last ultrasound I had showed that my ovaries were a little bigger then they should be. I'm guessing that's not good.
I feel so bad. Most of the time I try to push it to the back of my mind but lately it's always there. I feel guilty for being sad when someone tells me they are PG. It's very conflicting for me. I want to be happy (and in most cases I am) but then again I am sad that my body just won't do what it's supposed to and I might end up being the cause of us not having kids.
*Beep Breath*
I feel really alone

Fertility and Life Update

So here we are...
Update for all you followers (many thanks by the way)
Clomid 50mg cycle 1, 2 & 3 all BFN
Clomid 100mg cycle 1 BFN

Right now I am taking my prometrium to get AF so I can start the next cycle with Clomid 100mg. I'm so worried that I won't get AF because my body is not used to having a flow so close together. Last AF was only 2 days of full flow, the rest was spotting. I keep asking myself what happens if I don't get AF?

In other news I got called fat by a customer on Victoria day. I didn't want to let it affect me and lucky for me I had to assist another customer right after other wise I'm pretty sure I would have gone into the back and had a cry. It's been a long time since I have been publicly called fat.
I guess I really have to get off my butt and move it more.

My birthday is on Monday. I will be 32.
Funny how I always thought 32 was so old and now that I am here it's like... well just another day. For my B-Day Mr. got me a camera, which I am totally excited about seeing as I have been asking for a camera for a year and a half! I can't wait to take some awesome photos!

And... that's about it for now.

Day 4 of Clomid 100mg

Today is day 4 of 5 for Clomid 100mg.
I'm doing days 3-7 this time.

When I first went on Clomid 50mg and did the 3-7
I had tons of reactions to the meds.
Hot flashes, Food cravings, Mood swings,
but mostly hot flashes.
So far I have had NOTHING on this cycle.
This is totally worrying me!

I really hope I "O" this time.
I don't know what I will do if I don't.
I just want my body to work dam it!

Here are the results of CD3 Blood work.
FSH 4.2 IU/L
Estradiol 189 pmol/L

So it looks like I am in my midcycle for FSH
(if I read the results right)
and Follicular for my Estradiol. <-- me confused

I so need to read more about this.

I think I should call my OB about the results

Infertility

Infertility
That one word still scares the shit outta me.
It makes me feel broken.

It makes me angry.
WHY?
Why am I not like the other girls who just look at their man and get preggo?
How come I have to take pills that fuck me up?
That put me on an emotional rollercoaster,
which I have to hide as best as I can from everyone
It's not like I can just talk about it. People just don't understand.
They make the "Oh, I understand" statements,
while nodding their heads.
You understand, really?
You get what it feels like to know you don't O on your own
That your fear is that you can't actually HAVE children
Unless they have been there I don't even bother talking about it.
I just don't go there.

When the "When are you going to have little ones?" question gets asked I laugh it off. Oh... in a couple years, when we are ready.
Or, we have a fur baby and she's all we need now.
Or, we will have one once we've paid down our bills.
I just want to say, well we are trying but it just hasn't happened.
But that opens up a whole other can of worms that I just don't want to talk about with someone who isn't in my close circle.
(aka a stranger, or old acquaintance)

I have no idea if this makes any sense to you readers.
(yeah I have 3 now!)
I just had to get it out. I think holding it in is hurting me in the long run but I hate those fake nodders, or the sad faces that people give when I say anything about having trouble conceiving.

So here is a Fertility specific update
Months actively trying to conceive: 16 months 3 weeks
Medications tried: Clomid 50mg day 5-9 All BFN
Tests done: HSG - tubes open
Hubby's SA test was great
CD 21 Blood work

What's going on right now
CD1 - is today
CD3 - Blood work and starting 100mg Clomid
BD as much as we can (when we are together)
CD21 again - to see if 100mg has actually made me 'O'

That is all for now

Mid April Update

It's been really busy around here!

Last week I started the Biggest Loser Challenge for the Wii and did the pre-test and then the first work out and... that's about it. I feel really bad about it. I totally did not keep up my end of the bargain. I let the excuses win. Thursday it was, I'm sooo tired and it was Truck day at work so I already got a workout, kinda and Saturday was well the Mr. is here and I want to hang with him and Coco after work. Boo on me, though I did go for a walk Saturday night with both the Mr. and Coco.

I went to my first Beer fest on Friday. It was fun. I'm not a big beer drinker so it was way more entertaining for the Mr. but I still got to try allot of stuff that I would have never tried. My favorite was the "fruit" beer (aka cider) I never thought I was a cider girl but there is one called Merri Berri from Merridale Ciderworks and it was soooo yummy!
http://www.merridalecider.com

This will be my last week at the Bosley's that I got hired at. As of next Monday I will be in the new store. I am very excited!!! It means I have to drive more but oh well. I look at this as another great adventure! More to come on that later this month.

For Fertility. Here is were we are at right now. I have just finished taking my Prometrium pills and should be seeing Aunt Flow in a couple days (fingers crossed). Once that has started I can get my CD3 Bloodwork done and start on my 100mg of Clomid on CD5.
I am trying not to feel down about this. I know it will happen it's just the waiting that is killing me. I try and not talk about it lots because I don't want trying to have a baby to be all consuming yet. Once it's happened then yes I feel like I could talk about it 24/7 but as of right now with nothing happening other than lots of meds and wild mood swings I will keep a button on it. Plus I don't have anyone here to talk to about it. "It" being the world of infertility, the meds, the tests, the feelings. Bah...

So not to end things on a uncertain note I will tell you about what I did today after I got up and did my Biggest Loser Wii Weigh in (down 3lbs). CoCo and I went for a little hike up to Sugarloaf Mt. It was great. Not that many people go up there and the view is fantastic and well the stairs is a work out for me. I love it up there. Panoramic views of the harbor and the quiet. It was great. I find I go out more and do more things with CoCo here. Too bad I can't keep her here with me all the time.

April Already??

The time sure has flown! It's almost mid April and I'm sitting here going
"What the heck, where did it go?"

So here's an update
Mr. is in Victoria doing a course for work. Which makes me oh so happy because that means we get to see each other every weekend! He is doing so well. My hubby truly amazes me.
Next Friday we are going to my very 1st Beer Fest. I have never been to a tasting festival so I am majorly excited, not that I really like beer but oh well I'm going for the experience!!

I only have two weeks left at the store before I am transferred to the new one. I have to admit I'm really excited! I love learning new things and for once in my life I truly love my job. Now if it would only pay more than minimum wage, lol.

On the Fertility side of things I have just started taking my Prometrium again. So I will be on that for 10 days then wait for AF to arrive so I can start cycle monitoring. I will be getting CD3 and then CD21 Blood work done. This time I am on 100mg of Clomid so here's hoping that works amd gets me O'ing.

Mr. and I were going to go away for a honeymoon the first week of May but alas rising gas prices and low wages makes that impossible. So we are going to go to our Nephews 4th Birthday Party on the island. While we are over here we are going to work on the boat too! The Mr. would also like to take an over night trip to Seattle, which I am totally down for seeing as the only time I went there was for Paper for the wedding invites!
Need to be a tourist this time.

This weekend I went out and bought the Biggest Loser Challenge Wii game. Today I put in my stats and took the fitness test. Got all the way to Challenging before I had had enough. It's funny how two scales will weight you differently. The Wii says I'm at 216 and the bathroom scale said I was 212 (Ate very badly this weekend hence the gain) Needless to say I love the bathroom scale but I am taking into consideration both of them. I am going to try to do the 12 week Biggest Loser Weight loss program on the Wii as well as get out for a 20 min walk at least 3 times a week . I will be doing weekly weigh ins and posting them here. Gotta stay accountable somehow!

HSG, Sickness and Doubt

I got my HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) done on Monday. In case you are wondering what an HSG is, it is an X-ray procedure where dye is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix. The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open, dye fills the tubes and spills into the abdominal cavity. Yes, it hurts like hell. Every single muscle is trying to force the dye out while the Dr. is pumping more in.
The good news is my Right Tube is wide open. The left one was letting some dye in and then went into spasm and since the dye already had an easy way out the right tube it went the way of least resistance, So the Dr said that it is probably open but they don't know for sure.

With that done I head to my GP (regular doctor) because I have been sick with a cold for 2 weeks and it's just not getting any better. In fact it was getting worse. Turns out I have a very bad Bronchitis infection and I was still contagious :( My GP told me I had to take a whole week off work. I didn't think I was going to take the whole week off but man did I need it. I am just getting over it now. I can almost breath without coughing / becoming light headed and I almost have my voice back.
The good thing is I have gotten to spend the week at home with hubby (though he has been at work). Our bed is so comfy compared to the bed I have at my moms place.

Needless to say weight loss has been on the back burner. I have been pretty much eating whatever I want. Including eating cupcakes from "Cupcakes" but they tasted sooooo good. Now that I am feeling better back on the weight loss wagon!!!

Fertility Food and Weight Loss

Wow today was a hard day. I didn't think it would be but wow, totally emotional.

I went to my OB today because the treatment that he had given me didn't work. We discussed a lot of different treatments and meds. I can't believe we have been trying to conceive for 15 months already. The Mr. seaman analysis was great. The numbers are right where they need to be so I know the problem lies with me.

I feel broken.

So here is the game plan for the next little while. CD21 (cycle day) blood tests as well as CD3. Upping my Clomid to 100mg a day and keeping my Metformin @ 1000mg a day. I am getting an HSG test done at the hospital on the 21st. After that I start the cycle all over again hoping that this time it works. OB said that if I haven't conceived by Jan 1 2012 then he will refer me to an Fertility Clinic. By that date we will have been trying for 24 months, sigh

With all this going on it's totally made me re-focus on my weight loss. I don't have the money to get a gym membership but that doesn't mean I can't get out and walk or do at home exercise videos. I've been way more conscious of what I have been eating. Have I been 100% no, but I'm getting there and the scale is moving in the right direction. As of this morning I was 211.4lbs!!! Almost at a 20lbs loss... again. My goal right now is 199, after that I am going to say 179 with the ultimate goal of 160lbs (wow, I actually said it out loud)!

So with that said I want to leave on a happy note. I watched Glee tonight (yha for Shaw on Demand!) and I have to say I love this song. I totally feel like a looser most of the time and a Geek the rest so I get this song. Enjoy!

Hey YOU!

Hey you.

Yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. LOVE them. Smile. It'll draw people in. My happiness will not depend on others anymore. I'm happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me me. And 'me' is pretty amazing.

-anon

I Love this!!! It totally makes me smile. Although I am trying to loose weight I love who I am. My weight does not define me. I define me!

I just had to pass this along to all of those out there that have had any of those thoughts/ self-doubts (I know I have).

Update and Such...

So last night the Mr. and I went and saw Battle for LA. It was a pretty good movie. Great action/sci-fi. I'm into those films. It had some great one liners in it that made the whole theater Laugh out loud. Like I said the action was great and of course there was the "We are going to beat this and save the world" speech but it wasn't that long and the one liners totally made up for it.

I would say 4 outta 5 stars

Other than that I have been working away. Learning tons of new info on the Pet industry. I had no clue about so many pet related things before I started my job. I love going into work everyday and learning new things. Makes me Love my job. Now only if I got paid more :D

Things are Not going so good on the weight loss front. Here are the updated numbers

In case you are wondering... I have no problem tell the world what I weigh it is after all only a number and does not define who I am as a person or at least that what I keep telling myself.

Weight: 213lbs

Height: 5'3"

Neck: 15"

Waist: 41.5"

Hips: 47.5"

I was down to 204lbs but then Christmas hit followed by New Years and well it was a slippery slope and I just did not want to pay attention after that. I stopped going to the gym and just didn't care about the food that when into my mouth. I have to change that.

~ I'm going to Cut back on my Sugar , not taking it all out cause I would feel deprived and would just end up falling off the wagon, again.

~ I'm going to walk 30 mins rain or shine at least 4 times a week.

~Drink 8 cups of water a day

~ Reduce my Caffeine intake to 2 cups a day

As for fertility. We are still working on that. Clomid 50mg months 1,2, and 3 are a bust. I get to see my OB on Wends and I'm pretty much going to tell him that I need (insert long list here) done or I am going to request to see another OB. There is one in town that specializes with PCOS so I might have better luck there. Anyways my fingers are crossed that things happen and if they don't well we will come to the bridge when we have to. Positive thinking!!!

First Post of 2011

Its been a long time I know. I am the worst Blogger out there. Life has a way of getting away from me, that and I was working my butt off!

Not much new is going on. I have quit one of my jobs so I can spend more time with the Mr. (he was getting pissy because he never saw me). We are still living in different places so that's very hard but we are making it work.

We did round one of Clomid in December. I was kinda hoping that it would be the only round but when I did an at home test it was very negative. Oh well here's hoping round two is better.

I'm really digging theses Poetry Slammers. Here is one of my favorites


It totally hit home. I loved listening to this.
So it is late and I need to go to bed. Have to work in the morning.